Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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