question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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