i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
