Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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