Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
