So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
