I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
