oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
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