Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize