i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Terrible idea I love it
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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