just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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