windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
