Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
