I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
