Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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