I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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