i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
birth control should be required to get into college
The beer is more important than you right now.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
