kristin has been a bad kristin
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Drake has all the answers
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
