Will you blow on my dice?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
