I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
