As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We are two peas in an std pod
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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