I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize