i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
