and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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