So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
