Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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