This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
