Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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