Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
