These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
