he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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