We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
