you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
