ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
