i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
