Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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