After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
