Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
