There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
