Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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