i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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