I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
