She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
