god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
