she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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