I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
