I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
