i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
