were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
