I feel like abortions should bother me more
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
