Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
