I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
