I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
