ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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