we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize