How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The feeling are messing with the penis
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I think people are normalizing furries
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
