so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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