Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
