hell yes lets make some ravioli
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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