My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
