no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
