They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
