Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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