Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
