Define "chronic" masturbator.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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