hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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