I wannas sexs uuuuu
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
