I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
