smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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