everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
