I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
