im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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