I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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