Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
