Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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