When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
