It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize
