You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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