It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize