idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
When did angry sex become our thing?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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