he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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