i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
