I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
