Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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